True Blood

True Blood 5×09 – Everybody Wants To Rule The World

"I better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God."


Will you look at that. That was the best episode of True Blood in quite a while. After floundering about for almost an entire season, a host of subplots effectively came together and finally restored some focus to the show in the process.

First off, I’m glad to say that the Ifrit crap is over. That useless excuse of a storyline was dragging  show down to unimaginably horrid levels so I really couldn’t be more pleased. Perhaps Scott Foley can jump ship now and suck the life out of another series instead.

Second, they finally escalated the stakes. I was genuinely worried for Sookie in this one which is a rare occurrence, particularly as she was faced with the “Dragon” and her racist clan. Sweetie did kind of come out of nowhere but I was nonetheless amused by her raging antics. Thankfully, the Obama-killers subplot can not be put to rest so we can focus on the real meat of the season: the Authority arc.

We got some wonderful developments with that one from Bill finally picking a side and turning on Eric, to Russel kidnapping Luna and practically ensuring Sam, Luna, and Alcide’s involvement in the main arc. Now I just hope Sookie and her hunt for her parents’ killers intensifies so this season can really feel like it’s been building up to something.

And finally, I am beyond loving Pam and Tara. Seriously they could create a spinoff based on these two and it would probably eclipse the show. Pure comedic gold.

Bloody Bits

 –  I’m impressed that a True Blood factory has already been bombed. It’s unlike this show to move this fast. I like it.

– The Authority feasting on the naked dead guy after saying grace was hilariously creepy.

– Eric sarcastically praising Lilith killed me.

– I’m confused; it really does seem like Bill is a complete villain now.

– I’m still completely fascinated by the Salome character.

– I laughed out loud when the reporter asked Andy if Obama was the killer.

– Arlene stabbing Patrick was pretty darn cool and unexpected. Finally she’s getting proactive about something.

– Bill picturing Sookie then Lilith during sex with Salome: freaky and so very True Blood.

– I felt pretty bad for Pam when the new sheriff knocked her out in the middle of Fangtasia. Definitely looks like this will be interesting. 

– Loved Sam disguising himself as a pig and saving Sookie just in the nick of time.

– Luna beating up Sweetie Dragon was so very satisfying.

True Quips

Lafayette: Creepy spirit thangy, why you in Sookie’s bathroom?

Lafayette: I sent her 50 messages and she replied: “Bitch, stop texting me or I will eat you.”

Lafayette: I ain’t Gmail for dead bitches. Send ya own Goddamn messages.

Andy: It is my job to protect sons of bitche too.  And vampers, shifters, werechickens and whatever the fuck else is out there

Arlene: The last ghost lady Lafayette channeled tried to steal our baby.

Pam: There are two things I try to stay away from: humans who eat a lot of fish and politics. So whatever comes next, we keep our heads down, our tits up and the blood flowing.

Pam: Just because we drank a bitch together doesn’t make us Oprah & Gayle.
Tara: Suck me, vampire barbie.

Lafayette: Dead-folk, why you all gotta be so cryptic? It ain’t cute.

Andy: We all fall short somewhere; you use your dick for a compass.

A return to form, this was a superb episode of True Blood and the strongest hour of the season.

Nad Rating

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