666 Park Avenue

666 Park Avenue 1×12 – The Elysian Fields

"Stop acting like you're in some western."

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Oh lord, that was utterly groan-worthy. You’d think 666 Park Avenue would be bringing out the big guns now that it’s been cancelled but this was a particularly horrendous hour of television.

Could it be that the acting has gotten even worse? I didn’t think that was humanely possible but there were some eye-gougingly bad performances in this one (the Conspirati woman anyone?). And so.much.exposition! I get that it was necessary, but I still don’t feel like I know enough which makes it even worse. What are the limits to Gavin’s powers? He seems to be able to make anyone choke with a glance, but Harlan incapacitates him with vines from the floor? Ugh… this show.

In addition, nothing felt earned here. Not the Conspirati being killed, not the police dude being swallowed by The Drake, nothing. And Harlen’s just gone now? What will the finale be about? Seriously this show deserved to get cancelled.

Sinister Bits

– That was some really bad CGI with the arms coming out of the floor and drowning the journal thief. Guess ABC decided to hold on to their dollars after they cancelled this tripe.

– I missed our favorite Russian serial killer, such a complicated and layered character.

– Somehow I doubt “Laurel” sent whatshisname an email from the staircase in hell. What a pity I can’t even remember our protagonist’s name. That’s how bad this show is.

– Yeah right, because people tend to leave their phones at home when they head off to parties (Yes I’m looking at you Jane!) In this day and age it’s the only thing people grab. Everything is just so conveniently terrible on this show.

– Jane and her dad reuniting was admittedly sort of touching for a brief flash of a moment.

– I find it hard to believe that Jane figured out Harlen was in The Drake while super-intelligent all knowing Gavin didn’t.

– And what about the Louise subplot? Now she and her husband are going to dispose of Alexis’ body? The one satisfying moment: Alexis punching the crap out of Louise.

– The final box scene with Olivia and Gain was really weird.

– Awful final moment with Mr. police guy screaming out of Jane’s wall. Do they actually think this sight is suspenseful? Because it’s been done quite a bit this year.

Conclusion
With one episode left, 666 Park Avenue still ain’t pulling out all the stops.

Nad Rating
D

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