American Horror Story

American Horror Story 3×05 – Burn, Witch. Burn!

"I thought we were gonna oust her not roast her."


Truth be told, this was the weakest episode of Coven thus far.

The third season of American Horror Story has proved to be a stunning masterpiece on practically every level, so Burn, Witch. Burn! only falls short in comparison. In fact, it’s still a very solid hour of television that’s executed with finesse and a whole lot of confidence.

My main gripe with the episode is the fact that it feels somewhat disjointed – and that stops it from truly firing on all cylinders. First there’s Fiona dealing with the aftermath of the acid attack on Cordelia, which has now rendered her daughter blind (while simultaneously supplying her with the power of second sight). The scenes with Fiona wandering around the hospital were undeniably unsettling, but they sadly isolated our favorite witch from the zombie attack back at the school. Nevertheless, Jessica Lange still got to sink her teeth into one particularly breathtaking sequence, as she stumbled onto a distraught woman with a stillborn child and capably brought her baby back to life (after working through some of her own maternal issues). It was a compelling gem of a scene, and one that will haunt me for some time to come.

As for all the hoopala back at the manor, it was admittedly satisfying to watch the girls try and fend for themselves. Zoe in particular, finally stood up and took charge – impressively chainsawing her way through a savage pack of the undead. Unfortunately, the whole shebang wasn’t as thrilling as I would have liked. I hate to say it, but last week’s set-up ended up being more impressive than the payoff we ultimate got.

Thankfully, the hour was given a boost by one heck of a plot orchestrated by Fiona to take down Myrtle. I absolutely adored our Supreme using Queenie’s powers to frame Myrtle as the culprit behind the acid attack, which lead to the downright bonkers witch-burning sequence (complete with jarring upbeat music & Fiona lighting the fire with her cigarette like the badass that she is). Of course not everything is as it seems on this wicked little show, and the hour was bookended by Misty bringing a charred Myrtle back to life. Will Madison be revived next? And how the hell is Fiona going to handle all these pissed-off witches? Whatever happens, I’m completely enthralled.

Frightful Bits

– The teaser with Delphine’s chamber of horrors (the eyeballs, the intestines) was tremendously harrowing. Seriously this woman trapped her daughters in cages? Why do I still feel sympathy for her? Props to Kathy Bates I guess.

– Awesome moment with Queenie trying to use her voodoo powers on the zombie only for Delphine to save her. And the icing on the cake? Queenie consoling Delphine. I now genuinely love these two. Spinoff please?

– Naan trying so hard to save Luke irritated me.

– Marie Laveau got absolutely nothing to do this week besides float around mid-air before crashing to the ground thanks to Zoe’s impressive new magic trick. I smell the next Supreme.

– It was very satisfying to watch Fiona scream at Hank for abandoning her daughter. And now that Delia has seen visions of his cheating/murderous way, there’s definitely going to be hell to pay.

– Standout moment: Fiona and Delphine bonding by the fire over what terrible mothers they are.

– Typical American Horror Story comedy: Spalding ripping off Madison’s arm by mistake. Ha!

– Loved devious Fiona playing mind tricks on Queenie and making her believe she’s the next Supreme. So deliciously evil.

Spooky Slurs

Fiona: I like a witch who knows how to fight.

Delphine: Perhaps our shared tragedies will bring us closer together.
Fiona: I doubt it. You are after all the maid.

Fiona: How convenient. She couldn’t inherit the supremacy so she has enlisted her lapdogs to steal it.
Mertyl: I beg your pardon.
Fiona: Oh yes you will beg, but you will not be pardoned.

Mertyl: No need to bind me. I will not resist. Why would I? I’ve been swimming against the tide my whole life.

Fiona Any last words?
Mertyl: You’re all a bunch of little toads in a pot that Fiona is slowly bringing to a boil. You wont even feel it until it’s too late. I’d rather burn than boil.

While Burn, Witch. Burn! is the weakest episode of the season thus far, it’s still a highly absorbing hour of American Horror Story.

Nad Rating

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