The Vampire Diaries 5×06 – Handle With Care

Review by Mario
Oddly appropriate title for my first review. This has been Nadim’s baby for years now and I’m only guesting for the week. Let’s dive in.

So the cast of The Vampire Diaries is now made up of 60% Nina Dobrev? That woman astounds at every turn. I absolutely love watching her do her thing. I know Elena’s been getting a lot of hate, but I kinda like this Elena. They promised us Elena would never be the same after last year, and I’m glad that she kept some of the traits she acquired last season. She’s no longer the wide-eyed, Winnie-The-Pooh-hugging gullible victim she used to be. Sure she’s still whiny, but she shoves cures down people’s throats and accepts the grey areas that come with her existence. This week she made my jaw hurt with all her jealous looks and meddling in Stefan’s life. She’s stirring up a pot I thought we’d thrown in a quarry. Okay, that metaphor went nowhere. But I later realized that I’m supposed to feel this way. This guy was her first love, and me expecting her to be completely over him and leave him alone is not consistent with her personality. I can guarantee you that Genius Julie fought long and hard for Elena not to be a fickle indecisive girl torn between two brothers (see: every person ever on Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Reign…). She’s with Damon. She cares about Stefan’s welfare. We’ll have to suck it up and live with it.

Katherine is finally a joy to watch. Everyone was raving about her turn as a human. Okay, it was genius, but the execution left a lot to be desired. This week she was finally on her best behavior. She kicked ass, took no prisoners and didn’t break a single human nail doing it. She was witty and funny and self-serving. She was Katherine again.

Whatsherface original doppelganger lady is the highlight of the hour. Imara being the anchor is one of the trademark genius twists TVD used to deliver. I love them for that. The action was quick and restless. They already made her take the cure. Lesser shows would have at least stretched that out for another episode.

Hey I have an idea. Since Jer and Bon are so adorable together, they should totally be reunited. IN THE AFTERLIFE. In an afterlife far far away. Oh wait hey, let’s move them to Atlantis. And then maybe Professor Boredom and Aaron (That guy they just had to hire because he’s signed a holding contract with the CW) can go look for them! And then Atlantis drowns after catching fire, from a nuclear blast.

Bits & Bites

-Kat’s pancake binge and finding a white hair? Very Cool. But gurl, that breakfast cost way more than 20 bucks.

-Tessa is still blah. The character would have been better handled by a worthier actress but her calling Elena’s voice whiny was epic.

-Kat infiltrating the “Augustine” (inner geek is squealing at the name) was really cool.

-Damon telling everyone to calm the fudge down because his girl is trying to have a good day was pretty adorable.

– Any Caroline-lite episode is not okay by me. I want her to have meatier storylines. That girl is a revelation.

– This week’s cliffhanger was meager. Yey Stefan has his memories back. Guys, this is sloppy.

Vampy Zingers

Katherine: You’re scared of a teacher? Oh honey, you really need to take a crash course of villain 101. Lucky for you, I have an honorary doctorate.

Tessa: Need me to leave him a message?
Elena: Yes, remind him that he’s with a crazy bitch.
Tessa: I would but I think that’s maybe his type.

Damon: New Jersey? The supernatural other world is bound by an object in Snooki’s backyard?

Silas: Knock knock. Who’s there? The mayor. Mayor who?
Damon: Well who?
Silas: No one. That’s the joke. No one’s there because I killed the mayor.

Katherine: What are you, the sandwich police?

Stefan: You got a duck?
Tessa: No but maybe I can lure one inside. I got Elena in. How much smarter can a duck be?

Conclusion
Ultimately, Handle With Care is an average episode that finally moves the story along, but at the unfortunate price of character development.

Mario Rating
B