True Blood

True Blood 7×01 – Jesus Gonna Be Here

"You are one metaphysical fuck."

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I wonder why I never gave up on True Blood. It’s no secret that the series lost a lot of what made it special over the course of the past six seasons. When the show premiered back in 2008, it stormed onto the airwaves as a groundbreaking blend of thrills, gore and sex. But somewhere along the way (I like to think that was season four although many viewers lost faith by the show’s sophomore year), True Blood began piling on the supernatural creatures and began wasting way too much time on utterly useless subplots. But there’s hope; the vampy drama’s seventh and final season is upon us, and I’m praying that the show’s writers can bring out the big guns and let True go out with a bang and its legacy intact.

Sadly, this premiere didn’t do much to restore my faith in the show. Yes I love spending time in Bon Temps, but this hour was particularly devoid of excitement and thrills. Are the Hep-V vamps supposed to be a tangible threat for the season? A show like True Blood needs an uber Big Bad (think Russell) to really drive the momentum home and ensure some sort of cohesive throughline. Hopefully, a badass villain will take center-stage soon, because this hour felt especially directionless.

It’s worth noting that one of True Blood‘s biggest flaws is the fact that the show’s heroine is such a frustrating and often irritating protagonist. Sookie Stackhouse might have intrigued me during the first season, but the show never really gave her a sense of agency throughout the years. It always felt like she was ping-ponging her way through various love interests without ever truly serving a purpose. Her supposedly climactic speech at the end of the premiere was obviously supposed to be a rousing moment for the character, but it fell flat on its face. What was I supposed to feel as a viewer? That Sookie had been misjudged by the town’s population? That she was finally ready to take matters into her own hands? It all felt tremendously messy and forced.

But the episode’s biggest question mark is Tara’s supposed death. I’d love it if the show actually has the guts to follow through with her off-screen death, but I have a feeling she’ll be showing up soon enough. If the character is indeed dead however, then I will surely commend the writers for at least taking some sort of risk as they begin the show’s final journey. More deaths please.

Bloody Bits

– Surprisingly impressive (and chaotic) action scene in the teaser culminating with Tara’s death.

– Pam didn’t get nearly enough screentime, but I enjoyed her bout of Russian roulette in Morocco and her honorable refusal to take the little girl in her search for Eric.

– Violet is kind of funny. And her sex scene with Jason on the hood of the car was classic True Blood (in a good way).

– For those who didn’t notice, the role of James has been recast. Last season he was played by Luke Grimes, this year it’s Nathan Parsons. Both didn’t leave much of an impression on me. I guess the show gets points for consistency then.

– Super creepy scenes with the dying vamp outside Adilyn’s house.

– It boggles my mind that Alcide has been with the show since season three. Why does he still feel like a vacuum of a character? He honestly has no defining characteristics. How laughable.

– What was the point of Bill’s 3-second flashback?

– Tara’s mom is always amusing.

True Quips

Pam: Tell you what: your God and my God can go to a motel and have a circle-jerk for all I care. I’ll be in hell having a three-way with the devil.

James: I like your place.
Lafayette: Yeah it has a certain ghetto je ne sais quoi.

Jason: Let’s fuck for fuck’s sake.

Pam: While your daughter does look delicious, I’ll pass.

Conclusion
Dull and unexciting, True Blood‘s return was a weak one. What a pity.

Nad Rating
C

3 comments

  1. We are on the same track when it comes to True Blood, I have no idea why I am still watching this show either! Luckily, this is the last season.

    Tara's off-screen death is a bit shady and I do believe she will be re-appearing soon. Btw, isn't Pam still her maker? I don't remember that she released her last season.. So shouldn't she know that Tara was in danger? In all cases, dead or not, it is all the same for me.

    I hate Tara's mom, she gets on my nerves. Sookie remains the most annoying character ever! And Alcide better walk around topless the whole time since this is the only thing he is good at.

  2. Hahah hilarious Tag. And yet I love spending time in Bon Temps although the show has become an utter mess. Here's hoping this season salvages the show's reputation.

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