It’s been a while since I encountered a show as quotable as House of Cards. The show’s top-notch writing, paired with Frank Underwood’s fascinating persona, proved to be a winning combination.
Go ahead, get inspired by Frank’s sinister zingers.
Season One
– We’re in the same boat now, Zoe. Take care not to tip it over. I can only save one of us from drowning.
– Nobody’s a boy scout. Not even boy scouts.
– I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood.
– A great man once said, everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power.
– I may have pushed him too far, which is worrisome. Friends make the worst enemies.
– When the tit’s that big, everybody gets in line.
– Shake with your right hand but hold a rock with your left.
– I do enjoy these visits to the Palace. A glass of sherry, a little verbal fencing and a bracing dose of hatred and contempt. Most invigorating.
– There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong. Or useless pain. The sort of pain that’s only suffering. I have no patience for useless things.
Linda: I know he made you a promise, but circumstances have changed.
Frank: The nature of promises, Linda, is that they remain immune to changing circumstances.
– What a martyr craves more than anything is a sword to fall on. So, you sharpen the blade, hold it at just the right angle, and then… 3,2,1…
– They talk while I imagine their slightly-salted faces frying in a skillet.
– There’s no better way to overpower a trickle of doubt than with a flood of naked truth.
– It’s so refreshing to work with someone who’ll throw a saddle on a gift horse rather than look it in the mouth.
– I have zero tolerance for betrayal.
– From this moment on, you are a rock. You absorb nothing, you saying nothing, and nothing breaks you.
– You don’t want to work anywhere you’re not willing to get fired from, Zoe. Treading water is the same as drowning, for people like you and me.
– How quickly poor grades are forgotten in the shadow of power and wealth.
– You have it wrong – it is God who has no faith in us.
– Proximity to power deludes some into believing they wield it.
– I’m not going to lie. I despise children. There, I’ve said it.
– I’m being played. But, why?
– Rebellion on all fronts — Claire, Zoe, Russo. I must not lose my resolve. I will march forward, even if I have to do so alone.
– Tusk understands the difference between power and money. That’s precisely what makes him dangerous. He doesn’t measure his wealth in private jets, but purchased souls.
– She could put a crack addict to sleep.
– If he doesn’t deliver, I’m an invader without an army.
Season Two
– Did you think that I’d forgotten you? Perhaps you hoped I had. Don’t waste a breath mourning Miss Barnes—every kitten grows up to be a cat. They seem so harmless at first—small, quiet, lapping up their saucer of milk—but once their claws get long enough, they draw blood. Sometimes from the hand that feeds them. For those of us climbing to the top of the food chain, there can be no mercy. There is but one rule: Hunt or be hunted. Welcome back.
– One heartbeat away from the presidency and not a vote cast in my name. Democracy is so overrated.
Frank: Presidents who obsess over history obsess over their place in it, instead of forging it.
President Walker: Who said that?
Frank: I did, just now.
– Do you think I’m a hypocrite? Well you should. I wouldn’t disagree with you. The road to power is paved with hypocrisy, and casualties. Never regret.
– I’ve always loathed the necessity of sleep. Like death, it puts even the most powerful of men on their backs.
– From the lion’s den to a pack of wolves. When you’re fresh meat, kill and throw them something fresher.
– I don’t know whether to be proud or terrified. Perhaps both.
– There are two types of vice presidents: Doormats and matadors. Which do you think I intend to be?
Jackie: Mr. Vice President, what you are asking is just shy of treason.
Frank: Just shy, which is politics.
– Stubbornness is far costlier than obedience.
Claire: What should we serve the Walkers?
Frank: Cyanide.
Claire: I’m saving that for dessert. What about a main course?
Bookmarked this by the way 😀 these are just TOO delicious, I almost feel so evil just reading them.
Thanks for such a brilliant collection (couldn't have been easy to find all these!). Oh and I get the chills just by reading the first one from season 2 – especially since we go through the entire episode with no “fourth wall breaking” until the very end of the episode. I am fascinated by this show.
Off to start season 3 now!