True Blood

True Blood 7×09 – Love Is To Die

 "You know if you play your cards right, you might just become the highest-paid trollop in history."


I guess I should just make peace with the fact that True Blood is not going to come to a satisfying and compelling end. Although it had some bright spots, this season has been an absolute mess, further punctuated by this slow and tedious episode.

Bill’s death-wish still feels like a half-baked idea as opposed to an organic extension of his journey. Nevertheless, I’m praying the writers go through with his demise because the character became an utter bore a long, long time ago. It doesn’t look like Sookie and Eric will be settling together either, so here’s hoping the writers will commit to the notion of Sookie finding happiness on her own.

Funnily enough, I think this was Sam’s last ever appearance on True Blood. Although he was always one of the show’s dullest characters, I’m still shocked he didn’t get a more satisfying sendoff. He’s been such an integral component of the show for so long, and they have him just leave town with Nicole? Bizarre move to say the least.

In other news, how many times has Pam been captured and used against Eric this season? Get creative writers. On the bright side, the Yakuza now know where Sookie lives. In a perfect world, the gang would succeed in offing both her and Bill, and the finale would focus on a pair we actually care about (Eric and Pam). Wishful thinking I know.

The episode’s best sequence was undoubtedly Jason narrating Hoyt and Jessica’s story to Brigette intercut with the pair making love. No music, just an impeccably edited and incredibly romantic scene. Sadly, Jason and Brigette’s supposed “relationship” still feels like an extremely rushed attempt to give Jason some closure. Pathetic.

Bloody Bits

– Sookie slapping Bill was inadvertently funny. Pam insulting Jessica while hugging her? Priceless.

– Loved Pam’s plot to return Sarah to her blonde roots. The latter sure has become an afterthought this season huh? Consistency you are missed.

– Ginger finally got to “fuck” Eric after a lifetime of lust. The scene was undoubtedly a highlight, and it culminated with her hilariously abrupt climax on Eric’s infamous throne.

– Was this the first time Eric ever flew with Sookie?

– Jason likes the color pink; that’s funny.

True Quips

Pam: As much as I appreciate a compelling character drama, the Yakuza are upstairs, so need I remind you to keep it the fuck down volume-wise?

Pam: (To Jessica) Cry on my jacket, you’re paying for it sweetheart.

Pam: I need to remove this gag. El gaggo. I need to remove-o. Fuck it. (to Sarah) Listen up, twat lips. I’m going to remove your gag ’cause I can’t get the foils where I need to get them with it on. But please don’t mistake this for an act of kindness or an invitation to scream out.

Sookie: You’ve started over so many times. How do you do it?
Arlene: Well, it helps when your ex-husband comes to you in a death vision and tells you to.

An unfortunately disappointing penultimate hour from True Blood.

Nad Rating


  1. Nadim, I've given up on a satisfying conclusion to this show some time ago. I'm just watching to see how bad it could get till the end. I have to say Bill raised some good points in his speech to Eric explaining why he is willing to die. Looking back, his and Sookie's relationship has been an unhealthy one with Sookie eventually coming back to Bill despite all he has done to her. Sam's exit was so out of blue and handled like it was an afterthought. The writers must have gotten tired of the character too. I've also noticed the number of times Pam has been used against Eric as a captive. I hate thinking that my two badass vampires keep falling into the same trap over and over again. Haven't they learned already? And one word for Jason and Brigette that sums up most of this season: boring.

  2. It honestly looks as though the writers suddenly remembered that they should do something with Sam but had no idea what. Out of the blue, Sookie and Jess decide to check up on him only to find him gone. And it is not like anyone actually cared for more than a few seconds!

    I still don't understand why Pam and Eric are not fighting the Yakuza, they can't take them down?! Anyway it looks like it is going to be the Yakuza vs. Sookie in the finale. Let's hope we get to that directly without having to endure Bill's speech to Sookie, just fast forward this part please!

    The Ginger-Eric scene was the most hilarious thing ever!!

  3. Roman here,

    I don't really have much to say about this dull episode, other than the fact that it was dominated by this love triangle, or love square if you count pointless Bridget. I hate that they keep having Pam get captured. I've written this other places, but notice Pam keeps getting caught off-screen? There is absolutely no way they could show a scene where these slow people actually get the drop on her. That should tell you that even the writers themselves don't buy that they would catch her. Just horrible and lazy writing, and it's insulting to this character. She is not a damsel in distress.

    I'm prepared to hate this finale. The only satisfying part could be if Eric and Pam kill these guys.

  4. Great catch Roman. They keep capturing her off-screen and that REALLY proved how lazy the writers are. Thanks for reiterating this point because it drove me nuts!

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