Revenge 4×03 – Ashes

I have a major issue with this season’s main arc.

Vicky using David against his own daughter is exciting in theory, but it hinges on one very unreliable element: Wouldn’t David immediately recognize Emily the moment he lays eyes on her? Their powerful bond is the foundation this show was built, and I have a hard time with Ashes‘ final sequence in which David sort-of recognizes his daughter. The only plausible solution now is to have David work with Emily from the inside and start manipulating Victoria himself. He couldn’t’ possibly stay on her side now, and I seriously hope the writers don’t drag out the eventual father/daughter reunion for the entire season. This whole shebang has just gotten tremendously frustrating.

I must sound like the biggest broken record of all time, but it pains me to see the writers give Christa Allen so much material. Charlotte is absolutely the worst character on the show, and Christa has to be the most hideous actress on television. She genuinely can not act, and it’s a struggle to watch her try to convey any emotion, particularly since so much of Revenge now revolves around her (and her reunion with David). A stronger actress would have made me feel something during that reunion, but it’s honestly more exciting to watch paint dry. What a disaster.

For once, I’m actually looking forward to a new character. Louise is out of the looney bin and eager to get back into Vicky’s good graces. Something tells me her meeting Daniel at the bar in the end wasn’t a coincidence. Elena Satine is actually hilariously amusing in the role, and I’m curious to see what storyline is in store for her. But of course, I’m also preparing myself for a whole lot of disappointment.

Strangely enough, one of the episode’s strongest scenes featured Margaux. I absolutely loved watching Victoria manipulate that moron by calling her a “daughter” before playing the hobo card and getting herself a “loan”. There really is no limit to Vicky’s deceitful ways (and I wouldn’t have it any other way).

Vengeful Bits

– Victoria should wear jeans more often. Madeleine Stowe looks ten times hotter this way.

– Margaux and Daniel sex = puke.

– Did no one else want Emily to save herself from the fire instead of Jack? Our heroine isn’t supposed to be a damsel in distress. I’ve literally forgotten the girl can even fight and kick ass.

– The shot of Victoria pointing that shotgun at Emily was awesome. Less exciting was the contrived excuse to have David out in the woods (he was getting firewood). Kill me now.

– Ben asking Emily where she plugs in her car is the most obvious kind of product placement. God.

– Nice little moment with Emily declaring that for the first time ever, she “can’t see” Victoria’s plan. Ominous indeed.

– So Nolan will be staying at Emily’s? Nice.

– Although this episode had its annoying moments, the script was one of the wittiest the show has had in a long time (see the quotes below).

– How corny was that slow motion shot of David leaving his house?

– It’s no secret that I never found myself rooting for Jack and Emily, but their scene on the Grayson staircase surprisingly worked. It’s always good to tap into their history (using the picture from the Stowaway this week). Speaking of that place, it’s gone, and I could care less.

– David DEFINITELY recognized Nolan no? Weren’t they bffs for the longest time?

Devious Delights

Ben: (to Jack) You actually ran into a burning building? You do realize they don’t pay us extra for that right?

Emily: I checked myself out.
Nolan: It’s a hospital, not a hotel.

Nolan: According to Twitter, your runaway lunatic Victoria Grayson just emerged from her air B&B in hell or whatever hole she crawled out of.

Victoria: How do you not put money aside to prepare for a rainy day?
Daniel: Because preparing for a rainy day is the exact behavior that brought on a damn monsoon six months ago.

Daniel: (to Victoria) Oh and since you care so much, you might want to know that Charlotte’s hanging out with drug dealers, shoving God knows what up her nose, and she almost took a leap off the Maison Hotel.

Nolan: So what is the plan anyway? Go find her hideaway and return the favor I don’t know… maybe slap baby sis around a little? You don’t think you can talk to her do you? Rehabilitate her, have an Oprah moment. I know that you told her everything and she rejected you and then tries to toast you like a marshmallow.

Nolan: So what, you’re just gonna walk blindly into the line of fire?
Emily: Sometimes that’s the only way in.

Nolan: You stared down the barrel of a shotgun held by Victoria’s bitchy trigger finger and you dared her to shoot you? Remind me never to play poker with you.

Ben: You really shouldn’t sneak up on a guy in uniform like that. I’m liable to-
Emily: Accidentally shoot me?
Ben: I was gonna say “gasp in a really unmanly way”. But yeah I guess that’s possible too.

Hunter: I am digging the new look.
Jack: Oh yeah I’m going for the post-apocalyptic bar thing.

Conclusion
Although the core storyline still rubs me the wrong way, this episode still had its moments despite brain-dead Charlotte and her continued quest to suck the life out of the show.

Nad Rating
B