Guest Review New Girl

New Girl 4×07 – Goldmine

“I’m terrible at lying. I’m terrific at make-believe.”


Guest Review by Megora
And we’re back. No more hiding behind classic sitcom themes; New Girl returns with a cool outing reminiscent of its first two seasons. It’s been avoided for a while, but the show has finally decided to make use of the Nick and Jess breakup and the repercussions that come with being roommates with your ex while trying to move on with another relationship. The result: loads of laughs.

Jess, in typical “Jess” fashion, sets her third date with Ian (a completely forgettable and uninteresting guest star) as the timeline to, as she puts it, “get her biscuit”, aka have sex. Bringing a guy home for a sleep-over raises the issue of “Nick” and the need to explain the awkward situation of still living with an ex. Nick uses it, to his advantage, to “classily” escape from one-night stands after the deed’s been done. Jess, however, naturally chooses the mature adult high-road, believing that her date would actually understand. When that clearly fails, she follows Nick’s suggestion, and assures Ian “there’s nothing to worry about, because Nick is gay”. Apart from the fact that it was actually Nick’s brilliant idea in the first place (what was he thinking?), and apart from the fact that this is normally a fail-safe strategy (NOT!), Nick, and by transition Jake Johnson, is probably the worst candidate to pull off a “Gay Nick” sham. He couldn’t even resist getting his own overnight guest (and a completely crazy one at that), not even for that one night, thereby making it twice as difficult to keep up pretenses. And so we’re rewarded with some great moments you’d have to see to believe.

Even the B and C plots of the episode are equally entertaining. Schmidt outdoes himself in the weirdness department, fully grieving the potential loss of Cece’s breasts, as she considers getting reduction strategy. Only he could make a “private” good-bye chat with the “twins” more charming than perverted. Meanwhile, Winston schools Coach in the “Long Game”, proving that his quiet and steady perseverance to get with a girl, beats out Coach’s direct improvisational style. It’s always nice when Winston gets a “win”.

Favorite moment: naturally Nick and Schmidt. They are consistently awesome together, and even with only one joint scene, it’s enough to give the episode an epic high. They evoke images of the Odd Couple’s Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon, and you just gotta love those “Fredo” kisses.

Newbie Notes

– The “Uh-ohs”, the finest description ever made for crazy meaningless one-night stands.

– Nick feels like he’s maturing … wow!

– What is up with the weird-patterned buttoned-up Winston shirts?

– The recommended methodology for shattering stereotypes: go off to do “gay” things after “air-kissing” your ex on the cheek. Revolutionary!

– The entire segment of Schmidt mourning the loss of his two best friends (Cece’s breasts of course), with Winston and Coach pretending it’s actually about them in front of the neighbors, is hilarious.

– Harold and Kumar? Sure, that makes perfect sense.

Roomfriend Ranting

Nick: Jess, guys hate complicated situations. We want the path of least resistance. There’s a flap in our underwear because we’re too lazy to pull our underpants down.

Schmidt: Dear God, if you stop Cece’s breast reduction, I’ll circumcise Coach.

Nick: There’s nothing we gay men hate more than being put in a box.

Nick: I wanted to be gay for you, I really did, but it’s a very hard time to be gay. Girls are wearing scarves and boots. They have so many layers to them. What is underneath all those layers? I want to find out!
Jess: Are you blaming autumn?

Schmidt (to Nick after kissing him): You’re scruff, by the way; it’s perfect. Don’t touch your beard trimming setting.

Who knew that finally dealing head-on with the aftermath of Nick and Jess’s breakup could be so much fun? Kudos New Girl, for not skirting around that Goldmine any longer.

Megora Rating


  1. Loved it! Nick and Schmidt's moment was my favorite as well.

    “Girls are wearing scarves and boots. They have so many layers to them. What is underneath all those layers? I want to find out!” Hilarious!

  2. Glad you enjoyed it too, Tagouga! Nick (mostly Jake Johnson) is probably the major reason I'm still locked onto this show; he's phenomenally funny.

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