Well that was surprisingly fun.
I know many viewers might not be too amused by Fitz and Lillian’s current storyline, but I think it’s an absolute hoot. It’s good to have Fitz not nag about Liv or Mellie for once, and integrating Abby into the storyline is just the icing on the cake. There’s a sense that Abby and Fitz might be romantically involved at some point in the future, and although I don’t really see it, I can’t deny that it’s enormously enjoyable to watch these two bicker back and forth. Now who here thinks Lillian has a hidden agenda of her own and Fitz is just too naive (as usual) to see it?
Also amusing (yet highly unsettling) is Liz manipulating David into sleeping with Susan. Although David will undoubtedly fall for Susan when all is said and done, it’s heartbreaking to see her being played by the devious couple. It needs to be said that Artemis Pebdani is just so darn lovable as the innocent presidential candidate, and that’s what makes our attachment to her as viewers so genuine.
Sadly, Liv is the least interesting character on Scandal at the moment. Are we supposed to be riveted by her ordering Huck and Quinn to spy on Vanessa (Jake’s girlfriend?). I”m much more interested in Cyrus building up Fitz 2.0 in the form of Francisco. Ricardo Chavira has always had an engaging screen presence, and it’s mindboggling to see the lengths that Cyrus will go to in his quest to get himself another President. I think we can safely confirm that Cyrus has now completed his transformation into full-on villain, and I just love it.
– Hilarious teaser with Fitz and Lillian in the limo and Abby interrupting them (full incredible speech below).
– How creepy is Papa Pope wanting what’s best for both his “kids” who are basically sleeping together?
– Why did Liz ask David to turn over? Do I even want to know?
– Is Tom sleeping with Cyrus? Because that was downright jawdropping.
– I shuddered when Liv flash-backed to all of Papa Pope’s horrendous monologues. God help us if we ever have to sit through those again.
– Huck confronting Liv about Jake was probably the single smartest thing he’s done in a long, long time.
– I kind of hate how easy it is for Cyrus to manipulate Abby (by giving Francisco some national exposure and meeting Fitz).
– Nifty twist with Charlie and Quinn babysitting the killer’s kid. And the fact that Quinn was oblivious the whole time? Brilliant.
– Great overhead shot with Cyus shaking hands with Francisco in the Oval. Foreshadowing?
Fitz: Abby… This is none of your business.
Abby: It is, sir. Wild Carding is my business. Look, no judgments. If you want to spend the night at her home, there are protocols… Plans that have to be made. Secret Service schedules that need to be adjusted. Extra drivers booked. The ambulance has to be restocked and crewed. Routes to major trauma centers have to be plotted as well as the distances to Marine One and Air Force One. The football has to be in attendance, as does the mobile command center.
Fitz: We never did any of this with Olivia. We did.
Abby: Secret Service put in an entire unit in the basement after Liv’s kidnapping.
Fitz: So I need to make a plan. I need to put in a request to get laid? That’s what you’re telling me? There’s some sort of form I need to fill out to get it on?
Abby: I’m telling you that once you’re done having a good time, a team of specialists will have to come in and sweep your date’s home to remove any and all traces of your DNA.
Fitz: Stop talking.
Abby: Including hair, skin cells, saliva, and semen. This is for your safety.
Fitz: Stop talking.
Abby: As you know, since 2011, 14 countries have been collecting the DNA of world leaders in pursuit of creating individualized weapons…
Fitz: Stop. Talking. Get as far away from me as you possibly can, and never bring this up again.
Fitz: Why are you so obsessed with my personal life?
Abby: Because, unfortunately, your personal life is my professional life.
Cyrus: I don’t care what it is. I do not care how you do it. This is my day. I am the bride. So you get me my hero moment. And if you don’t, you’ll go back into whatever box you came out of and you’ll stay there.
Packed with momentum, Wild Card was a strong hour from a rejuvenated Scandal.