I think this is Game of Thrones‘ worst episode ever (although it’s still better than most shows on the air).
One thing I’ve always liked about GOT is the fact that when people die, they stay dead. However, this episode brings back The Hound in a very questionable narrative decision (and yes I know the show is based on the books but it’s still disappointing). Worse, it does so in a very boring manner with a tedious subplot that is void of both excitement and intrigue. The episode reveals than Sandor Clegane is now living in an isolated village where he has been nursed back to health (after being “killed” by Brienne and left for dead by Arya) by a Septon named Ray. While it’s great to see Ian McShane on the show, he’s not given the juiciest of material, and he’s dead by the time the hour comes to a close. The only saving grace is Clegane picking up the axe in the hour’s final moments and heading off with purpose (probably to murder the Brotherhood of Banners). Can we just pair him with Arya again please?
But really the rest of the episode is just set-up: Jaime tries to reason with the Blackfish (who’s not the most intriguing of characters), Sansa sends a raven to Littlefinger for help, Yara and Theon are on their way to meet Dany, and Arya is booking passage to Westeros – all the characters are in transition, and it just doesn’t make for very fun viewing. The most amusing development however is the revelation that Margaery is playing the long game as she sneakily passes on a note with the Tyrell sigil to Olenna. Here’s hoping she’s got a badass plan up her sleeves.
Finally, I hope the show will explain why Arya is wandering the streets without Needle even though she just retrieved it and knows The Waif is after her. It’s uncharacteristically stupid of her, and it’s far too contrived. On the bright side, the scene where the old lady (predictably) morphs into the Waif and stabs her is quite thrilling, bookended by Arya jumping into the lake and then stumbling her way through the city. Can we get that big fight already?
Bits & Beheadings
– Hilariously awkward conversation with the Septon asking Margaery why she’s not sleeping with Tommen. Also, did he just threaten Olenna? Not cool dude.
– Olenna was absolutely hysterical with all her Septa threats. Bash her please!
– Loved Olenna bringing up Cersei smirking when Margaery and Loras were arrested. I swear this show never forgets a single detail.
– Jaime slapping the Frey was oh so satisfying. What a useless siege indeed.
– We finally meet Lady Mormont this week and it’s so amusing to see a 10 year old boss everybody around. But the highlight here is how persuasive Davos is with his speech. Sadly, she only has 62 men. #Anticlimactic.
– Badass moment with Sansa standing up to House Glover. Sadly, that’s another speech that doesn’t get much results.
– I kind of love Yara and Theon’s dynamic. The scene with her urging him to drink and become Theon again was pretty excellent. Plus it’s funny how horny she is (spanking the prostitutes around).
Kings & Quips
High Sparrow: The poor disgust us because they are us, shorn of our illusions. They show us what we’d look like without our fine clothes. How’d we smell without perfume.
High Sparrow: (to Margery) Congress does not require desire on the woman’s part, only patience.
Olenna: (about the Septa) Does it move or talk? I want to speak with you alone.
Olenna (to Septa Unella): You’re not in your sanctuary now, my dear. All I have to do is whistle and my men will stroll in here and bash you about until I tell them to stop. If I tell them to stop. You could use a good bashing.
Olenna: (to Cersei) I wonder if you’re the worst person I’ve ever met. At a certain age, it’s hard to recall. But the truly vile do stand out through the years.
Jaime: You have better instincts than any officer in the Lannister army.
Bronn: That’s like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army.
Jaime: A Lannister always–
Bronn: Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it.
Jaime: Get word to the Blackfish. I want a parley.
Bronn: A parley or a fight?
Jaime: He’s an old man.
Bronn: You’ve got one hand. My money’s on the old boy.
Davos: (to Lady Mormont) The real war isn’t between a few squabbling houses, it’s between the living and the dead. And make no mistake, my lady, the dead are coming.
Yara: Now, since it’s my last night ashore for a long while, I’m gonna go fuck the tits off this one.
Ray: Violence is a disease. You don’t cure a disease by spreading it to more people.
Sandor: You don’t cure it by dying, either.
Conclusion
The weakest episode the show’s ever done. Watchable, but certainly not the caliber I expect from Game of Thrones.
Nad Rating
C+