The Good Place 2×06 – The Trolley Problem

I can’t get over how much I love The Good Place. I really really can’t.

This show never stumbles; every single hour is impeccably well acted and plotted. The Trolley Problem is no different – it masterfully tackles Chidi’s ethics class through its exploration of Michael and his “superior” mind. I can’t really praise Ted Danson enough, because his performance continues to astound me. He genuinely feels like a naive child learning the ways of the world, and his sneaky machinations are hilariously rooted in childlike wonder and amusing obliviousness. Teaming up with the gang has to be the most brilliant development of all time (that is, until the next episode pulls the rug out from under me yet again).

The Good Place also never ceases to amaze me in the clever ways it utilizes Janet. It would be far too easy to keep her on the sidelines to exploit when necessary, but making her Jason and Tahani’s therapist is a stroke of genius. It’s not only immensely funny to see D’Arcy Carden play pretend, it has actual consequences. Janet loses a finger, barfs up a frog, and soon causes an earthquake that threatens the entire neighborhood. At the rate in which The Good Place keeps flipping its status quo over its head, God knows what’ll happen next (and I can’t forkin’ wait!)

Bits & Places

– Hilarious moment with Michael answering the trolley debate with a solution to slice everybody’s heads off. People=good.

– I adored all the trolley simulations, from Chidi’s Ed Sheeran lookalike friend to Santa Clause. So.much.blood.splatter.

– Micheal telling Chidi to “tell the families” was hilariously evil and perfect.

– I’ve got an ethical dilemma of my own: I’m really rooting for Tahani and Jason. And yet, I’m also rooting for Janet and Jason to get back together. Uh oh.

– Absolutely loved all of Michael’s gifts: the biggest diamond in the world for Tahani, a Pikachu balloon for Jason (which he immediately pops), the Kant book for Chidi (which he throws in the trash) and….

– The shrimp dispensary for Eleanor! Even better is her discovering the mystery flavor (white chocolate) and telling the gang it sucks to keep them away from it. How lovable is Kristen Bell?

– Just look at the way Michael apologizes to Chidi the second time. The subtle differences in Danson’s performance are magnificent.

Heavenly Quips

Eleanor: Michael’s not going to learn how to be a good person overnight. He’s not even a person. He’s just a bunch of evil shoved up the butt of an evil mannequin, you know. Teaching him to be good it’s like teaching me how to be not hot. How would you even do it? You’d have me hunch or something and then stand there and say “gurp, gurp, gurp”? I don’t even know. I can’t even picture it because I’ve been hot my whole life.

Janet: (to Tahani) I am going to need some time to read every book ever written about human psychotherapy. (She pauses) And now I’ve done that, so let’s begin.

Michael: Chidi, I’ve been around a long time like, all of it. But I know for a fact that if you steal a loaf of bread, it’s a negative 17 points, 20 if it’s a baguette because that makes you more French.

Tahani: Jason’s a nice person, but my suitors were always of a certain echelon. I used what I called the “Duke Rule,” because Duke is both minimum acceptable university and rank of nobility.
Janet: You’ve never dated anyone like Jason before.
Tahani: I mean, I’ve dallied below my station. I once had a brief fling with a non-famous Hemsworth brother, but even Larry Hemsworth had more status than Jason. Jason didn’t even have a job in a sad way, not in the good, rich way.

Chidi: Problem is that there is no right answer.
Michael: Ugh. This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors.

Michael: Okay, so that was Trolley Problem version number seven. Chidi opted to run over five William Shakespeares instead of one Santa Claus.

Chidi: I’m sorry, is this funny to you?
Michael: Yeah. I thought that was clear from my laughter.

Michael: (to Eleanor) You think I feel dumb and small? I’m an eternal being who can see in nine dimensions. I can see from your aura that you’re about to fart quietly and then lie about it. And please don’t, because I can also see what you ate today.

Michael: I screwed up. I’m owning it. I mean, I’m a superior being I ought to act like one, right? So I really thought about each one of you, and I got you something that will make you happy. I call them “opposite tortures.
Eleanor: Do you mean presents?
Michael: Yes, that’s better.

Tahani: Is this a diamond?
Michael: Yeah. Honestly, I don’t get the appeal. Diamonds are literally carbon molecules lined up in the most boring way. They’re worthless space garbage. What you’re holding right now that’s basically meteorite poop.
Tahani: (squealing) And I have the biggest piece!

Conclusion
Another week, another perfect hour of The Good Place. This show never misses a beat. Utterly spectacular.

Nad Rating
A